"Welcome to the world, Kai. We are so happy you are here. You are the perfect expression of our love. You are a magnificent creation of the Divine. We recognize you and we thank God for you.
We will teach you love and trust by showing you how we love and trust each other. We will be open and honest with you. We hear you, we see you, and we love you immensely. We give you permission to be different from us, to be like us, to be all that we are, more or less than we are, and we encourage you to explore your own unique path and forms of expression. We have full confidence in you; we know you can do anything you really want to do.
If you fall down, ask for our help, and we will support you while you learn the tools and skills of self-support. You are a beautiful human being, and we are honored and ready to be your parents. While you are establishing your own boundaries, we will set limits for you, we will enforce those limits, and at times, because we love you, we will say no.
In addition to, and sometimes in spite of your actions and behavior, we will love you for who you are. The warmth of your spirit that shines in your eyes glows in your smiles that radiates from your heart. Listen to your own inner voice, for it is God's voice that resides in your own innermost spirit.
In you, dear Kai, lies the power of peace and joy for the entire universe. You will be free to be as special as you are meant to be."
My husband and I were supposed to read this to Kai as soon as he was born. I found the passage from one of the books I've borrowed when I was pregnant (the book title escapes me now but I'll try to find it again). The words moved me so much that I immediately included it as a special ceremony in our birth plan at the birthing center. I even requested our midwife to hold off on their usual checkup of the baby after I give birth and before the umbilical cord is cut. We want to be alone as a new family for a few minutes, I said, so that my husband and I can light a celebratory candle, get our copies of this passage and read it to Kai together. It was to be our first family tradition.
Well everything didn't go according to plan. I went to the hospital, found out Kai had died and gave birth at the hospital. Now looking back at that day a month ago, I truly wish that we had read our welcome prayer to him. I truly wish that we should have stuck to our plan of welcoming him properly as if he was like any other living, breathing baby born into this world. But in our despair, we forgot about it completely. Our hearts were broken and our souls were in mourning. The only thing we saw amid the tears was our lifeless, beautiful son.
He would have been one month today. Our special and beloved little Lumpy.
1 comments:
my heart breaks for you. don't be too hard on yourself for not reading this beautiful passage to your son. we all have regrets of things we wish we had thought of, but it's just impossible to make all the "right" decisions when you've just been slapped in the face with such a horrific change of plans.
i, too, wish we had thought of certain things during our short time with our son kenny, who was born still at 25 weeks on may 1. sending you a hug. god bless kai.
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