Back

Well here I am back to blogging. The last time I blogged was in the year 2006. My original blog was in Blogger and then I switched to Wordpress. Both blogs have long been decommissioned.

I was planning to blog again when I got pregnant. Like other first time moms who want to chronicle such a thrilling experience that is, pregnancy, I wanted to write about the good, the bad and the ugly of my new journey. I was also going to post my growing belly on a weekly basis for posterity's sake. But of course, the forever procrastinator in me didn't get a chance to do any blogging, let alone take belly pictures religiously.

So I discarded the idea.

I figured I'll just start a blog about my motherhood adventures with my son, Kai, in the spotlight. That would fun, I thought. Family and friends would get to see him grow on the Interwebs and suffer my inane attempts at writing about mothering and parenthood. It was a good alternative idea, I thought. I was sure this time around I would be more motivated to blog and consistently update since my son would be the center of it all.

It was really a good idea. That one.

So today I created a blog. It's a similar idea but not in the way I had intended. Instead of being a blog about my joyful and wonderful adventures in parenthood, of being a mother to a healthy, wriggling, little human being, this blog will be a repository of my sorrow at losing that healthy, wriggling, little human being. I don't know if what I will write here will always be dark and brooding, perhaps there will be times that I will write about calmness and being at peace. And maybe at other times, I will write about laughter and small joys. But mostly, I will write to find comfort after Kai's passing.  

Someday I would like to think that this blog will also serve as a testament that my beloved child lived and existed. He may not had a chance to breathe his first breath outside my womb, but for nine months he was alive inside of me. He lives in my heart and soul now--our beloved little one. And I hope that through this blog, I will be able to honor his memory and show him how much he is loved and missed.