Candle Lighting

 The Compassionate Friends (TCF) is the first support group we attended two months after we lost Kai. We didn't know the schedule of the other support group (HAND) that specifically help pregnancy and neonatal loss parents so we decided to go to TCF first.

Back then, I felt the need to talk about my son with people who have experienced a loss. Family and friends listened and meant well, but I needed people who would look me in the eye, nod and say, "We understand how you feel," from the very core of their souls. We met grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles who lost a child at every age. It was heartbreaking. But for some strange reason, even though our losses are not exactly the same, I felt at ease in their company. And they welcomed us, newly grieving parents, with arms wide open and hearts willing to hear.

Tomorrow TCF will have its Worldwide Candle Lighting in observance of the National Children's Memorial Day. My husband and I will drive to TCF Burlingame and attend a candle lighting ceremony for all children who have died. It will be another opportunity to remember and honor our son, Kai, as we approach his 6th-month angelversary.

Lately, I've been watching the news and encountered stories of children who died recently. A toddler who died because of an accidental shooting in his own home. A 4-month old baby suffocated to death by her own father. A mother-and-her-2-year-old daughter run over by a teenaged driver who was texting on her cellphone while driving. I guess despite the festive atmosphere that this month brings, only one thing is still constant - death. And what makes it even more disheartening are that some of the dead were innocent children.

So please light a candle in remembrance of your babies and for all the children who died, too.