The thing is, all these have been going on as far as I can remember I just didn't pay much attention to them then. I'd imagine if I was single or a married woman who chose to become child-free, these things wouldn't affect me that much. Most likely I won't care if I get ads focused on families, mothers, fathers, children, babies shoved in my face every minute of every day. And if my favorite television series features murderous pregnant women in an episode or a talk show invites a celebrity mother and her baby as guests, I believe I'd carry on as usual, unconsciously dismissing them as not part of my goals in life.
But like I said I'm an aberration, a citizen of Dead Baby Land, in a society of perpetual picture perfect families where babies are alive and grow up to a ripe old age. I want to be a part of that target audience. I want to relate, to belong. But I'm in limbo right now. I'm neither here nor there. It's a lonely existence sometimes. Yet once in a while, I see unexpected proof that others like me can thrive here. And I am thankful.
 |
| I saw this at the Y tonight before my yoga class. Notice the twin angel girls. A baby lost family. Living. Thriving. Remembering. |
8 comments:
Kudos to you for skipping the tube for 5 months. I couldn't do it, yet had to avoid nearly all the channels due to the subject matter. Even still, it's hard. :(
Thank you for the picture that you posted. I find it encouraging. Much love to you, my friend.
Chris and I often make fun of those families with the slew of stick figures on the back of their cars. I was actually wondering if they had angel babies. Thank you for posting that picture, as Priscilla said, it is very encouraging to know that others in our situations are still living. (((Hugs)))
I see it both ways now. I see all those -seemingly- happy, intact families and I get pangs of envy. But also I now see evidence, albeit discreet and kind of only softly spoken, that other people have gone before me down this very sad path. I didn't see them before. They were invisible to most people, just like I often feel like I am now.
I really hope that there is a happier portion of this path. Sometimes I believe it. Sometimes I don't.
I am sorry you are feeling so alone right now. But thanks for posting the pic of the family car stickers. I'll be looking for the angel ones . . .
I have seen so many of those stick family decals on cars and have wondered about angel children. Thank you for posting this picture.
For as negative and as sensational as TV and media can be, talking about the sometimes unhappy outcomes of pregnancy seems taboo. It is exhausting to see story after story where a positive pregnancy test equals a living and healthy baby nine months later. I, of course, wish that equation would apply to all of us! But it is comforting (although tragic) to see reminders that we are not alone. Others have been through this and are surviving. Thinking of you always! <3
Oh my goodness- what a beautiful post. And I can't believe they make those decals- that completely redeems them in my eyes (always thought they were silly). It is almost as thought I want to track that woman down and give her a huge hug- right after giving you one of course...
Wow, I've seen those stickers on the back of car windows, but I've never seen any with angels included. I love that idea and I love that the family included their angel girls.
I also feel abnormal because I can't just see those ads with families and for baby things and move on. They always make me stop and think of how I will never be part of a "regular" family like that because there will always be someone missing. DisneyWord had commercials out with parents surprising their kids saying they are going to Disneyworld that day. Those stupid ads make me cry every time because we will never see that look of joy on Jacob's face. We never saw any particular expression on Jacob's face.
There are shows I think will be safe. Like something on HGTV, but so many times now I've had to change the channel because there is a pregnant woman on it.
It's like there is no escaping the world of what could have been, what should have been. We see other people in that world, but we can never be a part of it.
Oh Jennifer I know what you mean. I HATE to see pregnant women. I mentioned that to friends the other day and one said "tell me about it" and I kinda stared at her in disbelief (she is simply TTC she has NEVER experienced a loss) and I just looked at her and said - NOT the same thing I have lost two babies, it's different! She just went on with another topic like I wasn't there. I was pissed.
I LOVE that tick family with the angels. How sweet. We will all carry on. We have to hope and pray that carrying on becomes "easier" somehow. Though easy and babyloss can't very well coexist I'm sure you know what I'm trying to say. (((hugs)))
Post a Comment