Limbo

I have no words lately. I have a lot of things to say and yet, I can't find the words to express them. Limbo. Yes, that's what it is. Neither here nor there. Just somewhere existing in the ether so elusive and isolated.

I've become an outsider looking in. Once again.

There are times I just want to turn my back to the world, leaving family, friends and acquaintances behind, and not look back. Eventhough I try to be, I'm not present. I'm somewhere else. I'm still reachable but I'm somewhere else no one wants to step in. Lest they get lost amid the darkness I'm sitting in. Perhaps, it's better that way.

If I could, I would go so far, so deep away. Yes, farther away where nobody can reach me.

This limbo. It hurts. I hate it. Yet I embrace it. I exists in it. It will pass, I keep telling myself. Let it pass, I urge myself. Don't keep it. It will come again. Let it pass through you. Let it burn you. Let it suck out your tears, your anger, your hopelessness, your lifelessness, your deep despair. Let it drag you in this purgatory of grief without mercy.

Don't fight. Just let it. For now.