I've been listening to this Coldplay song for a millionth time, the track on my iPod is beginning to sound like a scratched-up vinyl record. But there is something about these words:
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace...
They struck so deep a chord in my psyche, in my soul, that says I'm forever broken. Will I ever be fixed?
Perfect lyrics. I lose a lot of sleep wondering the same question. Thinking of you as you approach Kai's first birthday. May the day be peaceful and kind to you~
My husband and I were once on a happy journey that turned tragic in an instant. Our beloved son, Kai, was born still on June 16, 2010 at 41 weeks. This is us, the ones who are left behind, grieving our loss. This is me, trying to find solace amid sorrow and despair.
After a year or so, we braved another journey. It wasn't an easy one. In fact, it was fraught with constant fear and worry. We were hopeful but guarded, joyous but expecting nothing lest this new journey turned into another tragedy. But on April 27, 2012, we welcomed our second son and Kai's little brother, Kian, into the world. I wish I could say that his birth had erased all traces of our grief over the loss of Kai. But that wouldn't be truthful, the grief will always be with us as we navigate through parenting our precious second son. Yet, there is healing, the kind that embraces one's broken heart and embittered soul. The kind that urges us to live in honor of Kai and to think of him with love. Always with love.
3 comments:
This song took on all new meaning when Jacob died. Those lyrics in particular strike me too.
You will go on, with a fine crack in your soul that will never heal. But you will still hold yourself together. Sending you hugs.
Perfect lyrics. I lose a lot of sleep wondering the same question. Thinking of you as you approach Kai's first birthday. May the day be peaceful and kind to you~
Really truly perfect lyrics as Missy said. Thinking of you always...
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