Christmas 2011 in Kai's Corner

On the occasion of Kai's 18th month angelversary today, I share with you some photos from his corner. I've decorated it for Christmas in his honor. There are new stuffs I placed on here like the Drummer boy nutcracker and the Snowman mommy and daddy. I didn't use the other Christmas stuffs I got for him last year because there's no room for them. I figured I would just rotate decorations every year and try to keep from buying new things for his corner. This way, I won't turn into a hoarder. I've been watching a TV show of the same name lately and it motivates me to give, throw, donate stuffs away pronto. (^_~) But I digress.

My apologies, these are phone pics so they're a bit blurry. I'm too lazy to bring out my camera these days.

I've been feeling weepy these days. But for the most part, I'm doing okay. Going to The Compassionate Friend's annual candle lighting ceremony really gave me comfort. It's one of the things I look forward to during the holiday season and I imagine we would go yearly with his future younger siblings in tow as a sort of family tradition. I'm glad TCF is doing it every year in December because having a ritual like this makes me feel that he's part of our Christmas celebration, too. That he's not being relegated to the back of our minds. It also shows family and friends that even if time passes we will never forget our firstborn son.

You see, to some people eighteen months are enough time and when they see you, they couldn't help but ask questions like, "Are you done grieving yet?" or "Are you okay now?" or "Is everything back to normal with you?" Really I don't have answers to these questions, I just shake my head and not say anything. I'm afraid that if I do say something, it would be snarky, hateful and offensive.

So I just let it slide. I've learned to block the negativity and stop reacting so as not to aggravate myself. Life is too short to be stewing on such insensitive questions and comments. And I think Kai would put his thumbs up on that one. For sure.