15 Months

 

Today marks 15 months since Kai died. I'm still here, surviving and continuing on with life. It's a milestone of sorts. For back when this grief is still so raw and fresh, I couldn't imagine myself living out my days without my son. And yet, here I am with grief evolved. I am still some days sad, other days weepy but most days doing well. And this is something I am grateful for, something Kai would be proud of.

These days, when I think of Kai I imagine him doing what the painting above depicts. A child of the sea, playing with his sea creature friends and having a grand time. It somehow brings me a special kind of comfort and peace. Who doesn't want one's child to be free of pain and suffering, of the wants and fears of this earthly world? My sweet child is truly a free spirit now.

And yet, he will always be with me. Always thought of. Always remembered. Always loved.